An unpaved road covered with autumn leaves of red, brown and orange. There, I see you walking. Slowly. You are enjoying the cold wind as it blows in your lovely face. I watch you from afar. Sheer bliss.

My eyes are teary.

She tries to smile, hiding her real emotions.

I hold her close. She starts to cry.

I let her go. She waves goodbye.

Her voice echoes in the room as though she is here. I feel like I’m still touching her lovely face.

I close my eyes and pretend that it’s real.

I see her smile in my mind. Yes, her sweet, little smile.

She holds my hand and squeezes it so tight. She kisses my left cheek.

I simply smile back.

Minsan na rin akong naglakas loob upang sabihin sa iyo ang totoo kong nararamdaman. Natatandaan ko pa na umuulan noon. Puti ang suot mong damit habang ako naman ay asul. Dala mo noon ang paborito mong payong at may bitbit ka pang isang paper bag na pinaglagyan ng pinamili mo.

Sabi ko, “Mahal kita.” Ngunit ang tanging narinig ko lang mula sa iyo ay ang salitang “Salamat.” Hindi ko alam kung maiinis ba ako o matatawa. Naisip ko na lang na lumiban ka siguro sa klase noong tinuro ng iyong guro ang “Law of Reciprocity.”

“Sana ay ngumiti ka na lang,”  ‘yan ang naisip ko noong mga panahong ‘yon. Para kasing sampal ang katumbas ng salitang “salamat” sa konteksto  ng ating usapan.

Pero naisip ko rin naman na baka hindi ka pa lang handa na sambitin ang mga salitang nais kong marinig. O baka naman “salamat” lang talaga ang tamang tugon sa aking mga sinabi.

Why I’m leaving the company:

The Scene:

In a meeting room, Jun is waiting for his superior for his quarterly performance appraisal. His boss arrives and sits next to him. Jun is feeling a little uncomfortable because he thinks something is not right.

Boss: Good morning, Jun. How are you? Ev’rything alright?
Jun: Ya, I’m cool. How about you?
Boss: Great. Shall we start?
Jun: Umm. Can I ask you something first?

Jun becomes a little bit tense.

Boss: Sure. What is it?
Jun: I don’t know… but… I’m not sure if it’s just me or your boobs really got bigger?

His boss stands up – with an angry face – and slaps Jun’s face.

Boss: I think tomorrow will be your last day. Good luck.

She walks out and slams the door.

The night is cold. The sea breeze strongly blows. The pitch black sky is decorated with a golden yellow moon and silver stars.

I am on the shore. Lying on a thin blanket of green and red. The blanket seems to flow – like the waves in the sea – as it is blown by the wind. The moon shines on the blanket reminding me of the good old Christmas.

I see two shooting stars. I bother not to make a wish. I have been tired of making one for my old wishes never came true.

I pull out a cigarette, instead. Light it as soon as it touches my mouth. And enjoy the comfort it gives.

It’s now three in the morning and I’m still struggling to fall asleep. I’ve been lying on this stupid bed for quite some time now. I’ve tried every possible sleeping position but to no avail.

This silent room is killing me. The dim light scares the shit out of me. The occasional chiming of nocturnal insects makes me more irritable. The cold weather makes me feel so empty.

I turn on the radio. Every station plays mellow songs. Damn, they aren’t helping me get a good sleep.

The thoughts of you then come to my mind.

It’s been months since the last time I heard from you. I don’t know where you are now. I don’t know who you are with right now. All I know is the thoughts of you occupy my mind most of the time.

I wonder if you still think of me. Maybe yes, maybe no. Everything is just maybe even from the very start. And still is months after you left.

I remember the time when you asked me, “Would you still kiss me goodnight?” I smiled at you, nodding.

How I wish you will give me the same answer if I ask you the same question now.